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Ivana Trump claims she is the real First Lady and other tales from across the pond

Ivana Trump. Wow, where did she spring back up from? I know we have been talking about the resurgence of 80's fashion this week but that is one style mistake we could have done with keeping firmly in the archives, along with the poodle perm.

However, here she is promoting her book 'Raising Trump' which sounds like a health guide on indigestion but I have been assured, is actually about being mother to Donald Junior, Ivanka and Eric, and I'm sure to some degree Donald Senior.

And just to make sure we pay her the attention she feels she deserves she has come out with the sensational claim that she is the real First Lady, being Donald's first wife and all, much to Melania's chagrin.

Thirty seconds of intense analysis concludes, Ivana, it just doesn't work like that. And poor Melania, she hasn't cracked a smile for 12 years – the First Lady title is all she's got.

Melania has fired back on all cylinders with the comment: “There is clearly no substance to this statement from an ex. Unfortunately only attention seeking and self-serving noise”.

It's good but it does little to drown out Ivana who continued that she has a direct line to the White House but doesn't like to use it too much as it would make Melania jealous.

And my personal favourite Ivana quip - she revealed she had to turn down the role of Ambassador to the Czech Republic when it was offered by Donald - I know, try not to dwell on it – because it would interfere with her holidays to St Tropez.

Ivana certainly won that war of words and proved she is still very much Donald's match. Imagine if Ivana was still married to Donald and they were shacked up in the White House together. Both with their inflated sense of self, their outpourings of verbal lunacy. It would make fantastic entertainment for a reality show, but not so great for running the world.

And really this boost to Donald's ego couldn't have come at a more crucial time for him – what with him feeling a little under par this week. He has only managed to boast about his massive IQ and his millions of policies.

On hearing that his secretary of state, Rex Tillerson had called him a 'moron' he challenged his colleague to compare IQ's. He added: “And I can tell you who is going to win” - without actually saying who would win. Not your cleverest move there Donald.

On a roll, he also took an interview with Forbes to brag about the fact he has passed “just about the most legislation of any president, in a nine-month period”. Well it would take a lot of work to undo all the good Obama did during his time in office.

Pitching like he's still on The Apprentice Donald blustered on; “I also have another bill...an economic development bill, which I think will be fantastic”. Under that bill companies that kept jobs in America would be rewarded while those sending operations offshore would “get penalized severely”. It's both the carrot and the stick, he enthused. Well that really is, quite something.

Women fighting over him, a massive IQ, a carrot, and a stick. A nice bit of an ego massage for Donald. And one thing we have learnt this week – out of control egos like massages.


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