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Is this what Theresa meant by the 'British dream' because someone's definitely kissed the donkey

It's Monday and Theresa May and her cronies have tripped out of the wardrobe and back into the spare room as though the events of the latter end of last week were all but a dream.
Amber Rudd has popped downstairs to apologise for nicking the fur coats but otherwise its everyone round the tea table for a serving of Brexit pie.

Theresa must have got some survival tips from Bear Grylls because somehow she has managed to hold onto her PM's hat over the weekend, despite rife speculation about whether she would be forced to step down. Whilst everyone from the Downing Street cat to Barbara in the canteen has been giving Theresa advice on what she must do next.

This of course follows the Prime Minister's catastrophic speech at the Conservative party conference last Wednesday when she was interrupted by a prankster waving a P45, looked set to lose her voice completely thanks to a persistent cough and ended with the backdrop falling down behind her.

But let's first turn to who has been trying to boot Theresa out. Cue Grant Shapps the Conservative's former party chairman who spent a busy Friday trying to get enough MPs together to force the Prime Minister to resign. However, despite much passing of notes and bribing with Panini football stickers, Shapps failed.

Onto the advice, and Lord Heseltine was wheeled out of the Tory basement to insist Theresa throw all caution to the wind and go about a complete cabinet reshuffle, getting rid of all the familiar faces and bringing in some young Tory talent instead. This will sit well with all those Tories who are adamant the only way Theresa can stamp her authority is by sacking Boris Johnson.

And when they were wheeling up Heseltine, they found someone else down there - former Prime Minister John Major who has been quite willing to chat – or should I say, rant. John has poured scorn on all those MPs driven by 'their own agenda'. He says they are completely to blame for what is going on and they need to get behind their party and serve the British public not their own personal ambition. Go John.

And let's see if those MPs listen because the fifth and final round of Brexit negotiations begin today in Brussels. After that it will be down to EU leaders to decide whether enough progress has been made to talk about post-Brexit relations with the UK.

Theresa says she is 'optimistic' Britain will receive a positive result despite the likes of European Commission President Jean-Claude Juncker declaring it will take miracles for the necessary progress to be met.

So you see, it really is business as usual and the public are the ones left wondering whether they really did drink the bingo bongo juice and fall in love with the donkey or was it just part of the 'British dream'?


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